A lot going on

Where do I begin? We're still up at the Bawden's home and Jaxon is still attached to his grandma.
We have been looking at homes with no luck finding something we like or if we do find something it's a short sale, too much or not the right location. Last Saturday we went and looked at a house in Woods Cross. The house was nice but the kitchen was UGLY! You know the kitchen is what sells the house. We decided to drop by the model home and just look into other options. Well after discussing with the guy in the model home and our realtor we've decided we're building. We figure its the only way to get what we want, where we want. It's exciting but scary in a way. There is so much you that goes into building like where you want your plugs, phone jacks, etc to what you want your interior and exterior to look like. Our house wont be finished until March or April so we'll be living with Doug and Carol until then.
Work put the smack down on our internet usage. I havent been able to get on blogspot to update this blog or look at anyone elses blog unless I'm at home. Luckily Doug and Carol's computer is A LOT faster than our old one so getting on the computer at home isnt as bad as it used to be for me.
There's also a little something else but I'll save that for next time.

Dare I say this???

We sold our house! No really, I think it really happened this time! We closed on Friday, yes closed meaning past tense. We moved all last week and now, we're officially homeless! At least Shane's parents are nice enough to let us stay with them until we find a house we want to buy. The only down part about that is I don't see much of Jaxon...he's officially attached to his grandma's leg. I'm not sure if we'll be able to take him with us when we find a house either, we'll probably have to surgically remove him from her. It used to be that he'd wake up happy and loving me and Shane, now he wakes up and instantly goes searching for his grandma. It's pretty funny. Anyway, my cats weren't thrilled with move. Princess didn't come out of hiding until last night, she's right back in hiding when we all woke up today. Scamper, Mr. Social, has also been a little weirded out too but he's getting more comfortable.
We will miss our house but we look forward to getting a new house and making it our home :)

Prayers Needed

So I heard about this lady in TX that delivered sextuplets at 22 weeks in June or July. I've been following her blog and reading updates on the babies. Sadly 3 did pass away but they still have 3 living. I just wanted to share their website with you and ask for your prayers for these little fighters.
http://stanseljourney.blogspot.com/

Allergies

We had Jaxon's allergy appointment last Thursday.
They poked his little back and discovered he is NOT allergic to tree nuts, peanuts, eggs & milk. Our biggest concern was/is the milk. The doctor said that his reactions sound more like a protein allergy and the milk stick on his back could come back negative and he could still have a reaction to it.
So what now you ask? We wait until he turns 2 and then we have to take him up to Primary Children's for a milk challenge test. I guess they will give him milk protein and watch him to see how he does. If he doesnt have a reaction, we're good to go...if he does, we wait until he is 4 and try it again. She did say that most grow out of the allergy by 2 and at least 95% by age 4.
I'm praying he does by 2. It is seriously hard to choose foods and read labels to make sure he doesnt get any milk. You'd be surprised at how many things out there contain a milk protein (McCormack taco seasoning)...seriously there are so many things out there. I have held on to hope that he will grow out of it so I havent pushed much food on him. He does not like many foods out there that he can eat because all I've really given him was baby food. I really think this has hurt me. If it were up to him, he'd eat Oreo's and drink his formula and be happy as a clam!
That's about it for now. Keep watching, there may be more news to come ;)

Blogging

Well it seems the BLOG world is very slow. Everyone has nothing to blog about or maybe figures no one reads them anyway so why update. Well, I read them! I'm a stalker!

I'm admitting fault here too...I know it's been a while since I've blogged, although I have good reason. It seems anything I blog about lately ends badly. Example 1) I blogged about getting pregnant only to lose our precious baby at 7 weeks gestation. Example 2) I blogged about selling our house only to find out minutes after I posted it, the buyer changed his mind so I deleted my post right away (that's right, your not going crazy Monica...I did post something about selling my house).

Anyway, here is something very generic I mean, what can go wrong with this...

HI EVERYONE! I hope you all are doing well.



Crap, I've probably jinxed you all. Just kidding. I hope you all have a nice day!

Coping

Hi everyone.
I thought I'd post and let you all know that I am coping. I have good days and then some hard days. Jaxon keeps me happy whenever I'm with him. He is getting so smart and is doing some of the funniest things nowdays. Yesterday he would walk away from me and say and wave bye bye, walk a few more steps and repeat. He'd get out of sight and poke his head to where he could barely see me and say and wave bye bye again. It was so damn cute. We decided to buy him a new car seat last Monday. He's now facing forward and pointing at everything. He's not saying anything but just points. I cant wait until he starts talking so I can know what he's thinking.
That's it for now.

My personal hell...

I'm going to be honest. If you don't want to hear what I have to say then stop reading.
I've been on a website since I started trying to conceive Jaxon and I've remained on it. I have joined buddy groups for people on Clomid and then Due in January 2008 and most recently Due in February 2010. I've now joined a buddy group for losses to help me through this tragedy in my life. I posted something on there and I just wanted to put it in my blog as this is how I'm really feeling, its my reality. Like I said, if you dont want to hear it, stop reading now.

Never Imagined...
I would ever be posting here. When you get your BFP you are so excited. You are scared of losing your baby but you never think it will happen to you. You enter a buddy group for your due date and continuously watch some of them post about their signs & symptom's of a miscarriage. You are sad to see them go but never think you will be the next.
Then it happens...you start spotting. You call the doctor and they tell you it is normal and just to get some rest. You spot more, you know it's the beginning of the end but you have hope. You start to pray. Even if you've never prayed before or it's been a while since you've prayed, you pray A LOT. The bleeding starts, and so do the tears. You never imagined you'd be going through this, why you? Why now? What did I do wrong? You hear and have been told numerous times that it is nothing that would have done but you always ask yourself what could I have done differently? Why does this hurt so bad? You were only pregnant for a short time but you feel so empty, depressed, alone. Will this ever get better? Will I be able to have a normal pregnancy?
You don't want to hear 'maybe there was something wrong with the baby and its your body's way of getting rid of something that is sick' or 'at least you know you can get pregnant' or 'everything happens for a reason'. Just be quiet, just leave me alone, just let me grieve.
This is me...this is now my reality. I have to accept that I am here now, that this happened to me. I was so naive to believe this would never happen to me.

Sad Day

A friend of mine posted something similar on her blog one time but it was something that really touched my heart and now means so much to me...

With Tre and Jaxon it was so easy. Never a problem. Nothing went wrong. There was worry, of course. Lots of worrying. But it was smooth sailing. I think I took it for granted. Actually I know I did. This is hard...so hard. I'll never take it for granted again.

SURPRISE!!!

Well, we had a surprise last Wednesday. I was feeling like I was pregnant but figured it was nothing. Well since Wednesday was our 3 yr anniversary I figured what the heck, I'll just take a test just to see. This is what I found...



We told my mom when she got to our house to watch Jaxon. I handed her the test and she said 'Yay, your trying!!!' Um, no mom...read the test...it says 'Pregnant'. How funny. I will add she wasnt wearing her reading glasses. I asked her if she could make a cute little t-shirt for Jaxon so we could tell Shane's parents (we had to do a t-shirt since Carol is famous for missing the obvious). The t-shirt was so adorable it said

Big

in training

Brother

The 'Big' and the 'Brother' were in Blue and larger and the 'In training' was in Red and smaller. Carol read it a few times as Big In Training Brother. She thought we were potty training. LOL! It was hilarious! She finally got it after Doug had to keep telling her think about it and pointing at me.

Anyway, we're a little surprised but extremely happy and excited to add to our family.

Jaxon Loves...

I decided to post something about Jaxon...hehe...I always post something about J.

Anyway I wanted to tell you all what he loves.

He loves feeding himself. This is a picture is J feeding himself spagetti dinner. He was a mess!

J loves to help with the laundry. This time I found him in the basket of folded clothes...throwing them out!

He loves airplanes...in fact if he hears one flying over us in the house, he races to a window or the front door to see. If he hears one when he's outside, he stops whatever he is doing, points up to the sky and finds the airplane and watches it go out of sight...he even will wave bye bye to it. His nana has even taken him to the airport a couple times to watch the planes take off and land. He REALLY LOVES it!

He likes the dirt. Grandma B is THRILLED with this one. She always says he can come to her house and play in the dirt.

Loves helping daddy with the yard work. We have a picture somewhere with Jaxon helping mow the lawn. He was walking behind the lawn mower pushing it on the bag with Shane walking and pushing it behind him. He thought he was big stuff!

OREO's ...need I say more?

Cats...aka mow mow (meow meow) Oh my poor cats! Jaxon loves them SO much. He is always chasing them down, cornering them and laying on them. Scamper tolerates better than I ever imagined he would. Princess just lets him lay on her...if she doesnt want to be bothered, she'll just run under my bed and hide. Jaxon will plant his head on the floor with his bum in the air looking under the bed saying mow mow, mow mow.

And of course, he loves his big brother. This just warms my heart every time I see them together. Tre is the best BIG brother a little one could ever ask for. T plays with J, reads him books, plays basket ball and watches Sponge Bob. They are going to be the best of friends.

That's it for now! Until next time...

For Sale, Buyer BEWARE!!!

Okay, I know I've posted about how we have an attack cat but this story takes the prize!


As most of you know our house is on the market. We have had several people walk through but we've always been there. Well this last weekend we had someone wanting to see our house and this time, we weren't going to be there. Since this has never happened I really had no idea how my cat would react. I always joked around that I had a 'Guard Cat' and that people needed to be more scared of the cat than the dog but there was really no truth to that, so I'd thought. Heck, anyone would be more scared of a great big German Shepherd than a silly little (okay 15-20lb maybe not so little) Tabby cat.


Anyway, thinking about what may happen while we were away I decided it would be wise to put a note on my table in bold black marker that said 'DO NOT LET THE CAT OUTSIDE' thinking this would be the only problem I'd have with him. Anytime a door opens he races out trying to escape the hell he lives in (he has a 15 month old little human brother that lays on him or pounds on him all day long).








I thought to myself that some people might see a lounging, sunbathing, adorable kitty and try to pet him so I decided to warn them so in the corner of my note I also wrote 'please do not touch the cat either, he's mean'. Just a warning right?, I just didn't want them trying to pet Scamper and have him bite them.

The cat escaping into the great outdoors was the least of my problems. I seriously underestimated my cats abilities to protect his domain.


I guess the minute the realtor walked in our house with her prospective buyer, Scamper was on guard. He started hissing and growling at them immediately. After all, they didn't belong in the house when we weren't there, right? Anyway, he followed them throughout the main floor biting at the prospective buyers pant leg, right at his ankle, growling and hissing. They eventually made it to the basement and Scamper did not join them. They were safe. Free from him, or so they thought. They browsed the basement and then decided to return to the main floor but Scamper had other plans for them. He stayed right in the middle at the top of the stairs growling and hissing at them. THEY WERE TRAPPED! I guess from what the realtor told Ort (our realtor) is they were terrified of the cat and that Scamper held them hostage in the basement of our house for some time. They eventually got brave enough to just run past him and ran right out the front door. As they ran out, my neighbor overheard them say 'The house is wonderful, but that cat is MEAN'.


OMG, can I tell you how hard I am laughing right now?! My cat is seriously the best guard dog in the world. Buyer or Thieves BEWARE! Attack Cat on premises!!!!


ADT, you've got got serious competition!

Anyway, I thought this was blog worthy...maybe you'll hear from me again this year! hehehehe

Introducing...

Caleb Patrick & Ayden Eugene!

Yes, Mickele had her boys and now Shane & I are an aunt and uncle and Tre & Jaxon have a couple cousins!
They were born 2/15...
Caleb was born at 9:56am weighing 5lbs 5oz and 19 inches long

Ayden was born at 9:58am weighing 6lbs 2oz and 19 1/2 inches long

Caleb is doing remarkable! Ayden had a little bit of a rough start but he is off his oxygen and breathing well on his own and doing SO much better!

Mickele is doing good and looks AMAZING!
Here are some cute pictures of them. They are SO adorable!!!

Caleb

Ayden


We are so excited for Mickele and Pat & their family...CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

P.S.
Jaxon cant wait until he can play with his cousins!!!

Where have the Bawden's been?

An update, REALLY? Really!
Well a lot has happened over the past 2 months.
Jaxon started walking the first part of December. Actually he just started running. He is everywhere and into everything! We have to keep dog food & water up, gates up at the stairs, doors shut (bathrooms can be so much fun to play in when you're 1). My house has been toilet papered on several occasions and Jaxon has played in the toilet water. GOOD TIMES!
We went to an ugly Christmas sweater party. It was lots of fun. However when we got home, I found my house in disarray. Tre apparently had a few guests over while we were out. He unfortunately is not allowed home alone for now. Aw the joy's of having a teenager!
We all got to have our first Christmas with Jaxon. He was way cute. Here is a picture of him and his first Christmas tree. He really liked it, even though his face doesn't express it.

I have pictures somewhere of him with his presents. Let's just say he wasn't as interested in opening presents as he was with the itty bitty piece of wrapping paper he had in his hand. He had a good Christmas. We got Tre everything he asked for but after it was all said and done, I felt a little bad because he really didn't ask for much. I hope he was happy with what he got.

January came and so did the SNOW! I swear if we had to drive to Bountiful for anything, it was in a bad snow storm. But anyway...January did come and so did Jaxon's first birthday. It was great! He was so funny running around showing off to everyone that came to his party...as if he knew they were all there for him. My mom made the cutest cake ever. She made it special for Jaxon with his special diet in mind. Jaxon cant have anything with milk protein so this was a SOY cake. It turned out so cute. Mom, I think you're in charge of the cake making from here on out. Here is a picture of the cake before it's destruction...

Now let me tell you, I don't let Jaxon get his hands dirty. In fact if they get food on them I immediately wipe them clean. SO I figured he would be hesitant with his cake. He did touch it and then look at me as if to say, well are you going to wipe me off mom? No, I let him play in it and play he did. Jaxon at this time was not one to feed himself ANYTHING so he pretty much just stuck his fingers in and played with it.

My mom decided he needed to taste his cake so she put his thumb in his mouth. Um, he loved it. All of a sudden he was sucking away! Yes, sucking his thumb. Luckily the thumb sucking didn't last too long.

When he was finished with his cake, Shane was in charge of cleaning Jaxon up while me and my mom cleaned up the cake mess. Here is the aftermath...

Thank you to everyone who came to help us celebrate Jaxon's birthday. I cant believe it has been a year already. Whew, how time flies!

Well now it's February and we have so much going on this month. My birthday is tomorrow, Valentine's day, Pat's birthday is the 15th, Mavanie's birthday is the 20th and Shane's is the 21st. We will also be adding 2 more birthdays to the month of February! Shane's sister, Mickele and her husband Pat will be having their twin boys (hopefully they will be delivered on the 15th to share their daddy's birthday). I am over the moon with excitement to meet these little boys. I will update when they're born and have some pictures.

Until then have a Happy Valentine's Day!